Encounter with the Northeastern Rat Bear

We have lots of birds and squirrels where we live. We even have a woodchuck named Barry, who we call "The Gardener". (He eats dandelions.) But it wasn't until this week that we got our first glimpse at the elusive Northeastern Rat Bear.

Some people confuse the Northeastern Rat Bear with the possum, but the possum is a nocturnal creature, and this one is on our deck. In broad daylight. Building a snowman.

Now, in all I've read about the possum (which, at this point, is way more than a gainfully employed new father really should have read about the possum), I've found no mention of their building snowmen. No mention whatsoever.

Another data point: possums, alternatively, "possa" or "possi" (look it up—I never kid about plural noun forms), are widely known to respond to danger by pretending to be dead. So pervasive is this behavior that it's given rise to the expression "playing possum". Clearly, this creature—which I maintain is a Northeastern Rat Bear—is not a possum. As you see here, when confronted, this creature flees (well...saunters off) our deck. It's not pretending to be dead—or wait—maybe it's pretending to the be the living dead. Playing "zombie possum" rather than playing "normal possum".

Possible. But is it likely? Do you really believe that we have a living dead possum that forages on our deck during the day? Because that's your alternative. You have to ask yourself: Do I believe in the Northeastern Rat Bear, or do I believe in diurnal zombie possums?

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A note for those experiencing a shudder or some other manifestation of ick as a result of viewing these pictures of the rat-tailed creature on our deck, let me assure you that:

1. Northeastern Rat Bears are not rodents. They're marsupials. Like koalas. But with rat tails. Shaggy, beady-eyed, sharp-nosed, rat-tailed koalas. (Aaaaaww)
   
2. Same goes for possums.